I've found a job

3-day test and I think they're going to keep me on

But I feel like a huge shit incapable of doing my job properly.

I feel incapable of doing

I'm unable to explore a potential future, unable to think about a potential future.

I'm miserable, I'm undeserving

Why can't I be normal

I want to be normal. Not weak. Not a loser. I'm fucking useless.

Why am I like this?

Edit : I was hired but frankly I don't deserve it. Fucking cocksucker that I am 

Edit 2 : Everyone in my cercle congratulates me. It seems so wrong. So impossible. I'm going crazy ?

Edit 3 : I read my previous posts 

What's wrong with me?  

Edit 4 : I'm so fucking scared, I want to fucking die but i'm so fucking coward to terminate my fucking life. Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck stop the pain pain pain pain pain